TOP 5 Reasons the Lebron After Shocks Will be Great for the NBA
Thursday, July 15th, 2010We received this rant from one of our friends the morning after Lebron’s “Decision.” Quite prophetic, like the ESPN.com article Hunter Thompson wrote the morning of 9/11. But enough of the heavy talk. We felt we had to post this, as everything that’s going to be said about Lebron and his new frenemies (for now) has been said. But here it is, before anyone actually said it, in a format American readers have a hard-on for. List format.- CBBFestival.com Editor
D. Tello

Let me start his off by saying that my interest in the NBA in a post-Jordan world has been the same as that of college lacrosse: I’ll pay attention if NOTHING else is on, it is the finals, or a tragedy has occurred. Then, as LeBron started this narcissistic venture that made A-Rod and Tiger look self-aware, rational, and humble, I started to tell my friends 2 things: (1) I hope the Bulls do not get Bron-Bron so no attention is diverted from the Blackhawks, and (2) if he does not sign with the Bulls or Cavaliers, I will never watch the NBA again.
I now take the latter back. I find myself more into the NBA now than I have since the first week of the Jordan-Wizards debacle. Why? BECAUSE I F*CKING HATE LEBRON JAMES. LeBron James just went from loved-superstar to villain faster than Kanye West at an award show. Mark my words: LeBron’s self-raping of his image may end up the best thing that ever happened to the NBA. Why?
Americans love to hate. As much as we love our heros, we hate our villains more.
If LeBron lands in Cleveland on “Decision” night, I don’t end up watching the NBA until the next time Kobe’s in the Finals, taking 1 step closer to Jordan as I wipe away tears with my “Repeat the 3-peat” t-shirt. With LeBron in Miami, I will now follow the Heat like a Tea-Party member follows Obama.
Obviously, this is a terrible thing for LeBron’s brand/marketing/image/children. If you wear a LeBron jersey, and you do not live in Miami, you are an asshole. And apparently not afraid of showing it.
On the contrary, here are the top 5 reasons I think this is great for the NBA:
5. LeBron’s suicide has made the NBA’s best player, Kobe, go from a hated, alleged-sexual-predator, to an adored superstar. Kobe has to be loving this. I, like many others (especially in Chicago), hated Kobe up until a couple weeks ago. Now I find myself saying stuff like “Kobe cares about winning, LeBron only cares about image… and he is just as bad at managing his image as he is at winning (ah-oh).” If Kobe was A-Rod pre-2010 Free Agency, he is now Jeter. He represents what we like from our superstars – caring more about winning than anything else. So, NBA, rejoice. Because when the Lakers go on to win their 6th NBA title this year, Kobe will be hailed a hero rather than someone people loathe having to compare to Jordan.
4. Chris Bosh somehow became a superstar without playing any games. In the NBA, usually one had to win a Championship or at least an MVP to become a superstar. Chris Bosh has not come close to either. This can
only lead me to conclude that the people that surround Chris Bosh are geniuses. I imagine his agent/publicist had this conversation with Bosh sometime in June, “Chris, when free agency comes along follow around D-Wade and LeBron like you are equals and no matter what sign on the same team as at least one of them. If you do this, we can pull the Jedi-mind-trick on all of America and have them believe you are a superstar just like them.” This plan totally worked. Bosh’s “team” is the anti-Lebron’s “team.” Seriously, who has actually seen Bosh play a game in the NBA? He was on the Raptors… in Canada. This dude went from a guy who comes off the bench in an All-Star game to Tim Duncan circa-2005 without playing a game. Impressive. NBA, ESPN is still waiting for its gift-basket for manufacturing you a superstar.
3. NBA has tapped into a new fan-base; Reality-TV fans. This entire process has teetered into that same world that Reality-TV does: Reality mixed with editing and partial-scripts. I just can’t wait for LeBron and Wade’s first drunk hook-up…
2. The Miami Heat have become the most hateable sports team in recent memory. If you multiplied the hate that sports fans have for Duke, Notre Dame, and the Yankees all together, it would equal 1/2 the hate that all non-Miamians now have for the Heat (side note: I think Miami fans have every right and should be incredibly excited about their team). The good news for the NBA is that hated teams get watched just as much by their loyal-haters as they do by their loyal-fans. That is why NBC still carries all of Notre Dame’s home games, and
ESPN carries more Duke and Yankees games than all other college basketball and MLB teams combined. Additionally, LeBron has entered the exclusive level of hated superstar that was previously only occupied by Barry Bonds. And he didn’t need ‘roids, cheating, perjury, or a chick’s voice to get there. Someone check to see if Pedro Gomez is booked to follow LeBron around next season. (side note: Pedro Gomez is a clone of 2006 American Idol winner, Taylor Hicks).
1. The Cleveland Cavaliers have reached that level of underdog lovability that is normally reserved for Cinderella-story teams in the NCAA tournament. Think Bryce Drew’s ’98 Valpo team, Stephon Curry’s ’08 Davidson team, Gonzaga at the turn of the century, and Butler and N. Iowa this past season. The Cavs have sorta become the modern-day, professional-sports version of the “Hoosiers” from fictional Hickory, IN and the Cavs awesome owner, Dan Gilbert, is like our very own Gene Hackman (Coach Dale in “Hoosiers”). Now if the Cavs could just find their very own Jimmy Chitwood, a drunk Dennis Hopper, and their own version of the “picket-fence” play to run against Miami next season…




























